bullyingbosses weblog babblings!

7/21/2006

Advance. Retreat. Defend.

Filed under: General — site admin @ 12:31 pm

Good People,

WOW! I got so caught up with the reconstruction my website – and basic as well as exciting business matters — that I never got back to this blog. My apologies. It’s not like I ran out of questions or material. Not even close. I. The greater the demand, the more frequent the postings so pass it around liberally. You never know, your email might be one that gets posted! (All identifying information is otherwise confidential and privileged as required by law for lawyers. Always consult your own attorney for personalized advice.) This is a win-win for everybody. Absolutely no one does what I do — and I do it for free.

“Smart people” (or people who want to be smarter) buy “Bullying Bosses: A Survivor’s Guide. It walks you through all the steps necessary to protect yourself politically. Step-by-step. There can be no substitute for “working” “the workplace, particularly for people who feel isolated or who are isolated. No one can do it for you from someplace removed – not any lawyer sitting in a nice office. They can certainly help, but they can’t do it. And not HR trying to be an “in the office” cop or “lifeguard.”

Self-empowerment is up to “the self.” When you take “responsibility,” as is your “responsibility,” you get the results no one else can for you. Besides, it feels a whole lot better this way. It really does. Don’t suffer needlessly.

Here are a couple of advice letters of mine that appear on line in Toronto at officepolitics.com.

1. This first one is my absolute favorite. The facts cover just about everything that might come up in a bullying drama. And it’s colorful to boot. Responding to this distressed young woman was altogether heartfelt. For me, it was her and my subtle humor that broke the tension. Humor need not be obvious, but it’s powerful. Here we go for “Ms. Cheer Leader:”

An Expert Office Bully, Expert Advice:

Target: …Given her affair with the senior manager, she acts like she is untouchable and pushes every button possible to get my goat. Most of my coworkers can’t believe she would turn on her “only” friend but personally I think I should have seen it coming… and more…

Robert: She is, right now, courting her special manager in the oldest of ways. You can be certain she is documenting every embarrassing detail. Geeeez! He can’t see it coming either…and more…

http://officepolitics.com/advice/?p=31

2. This second one is more recent. It’s for a rather presumptuous manager. This guy was obviously so caught up in the “justice” of his cause, he took his complaints public. Probably not ever a good idea for a manager! Anytime you hear the word “justice” come up inside your brain, you’re in trouble-deep. Let it go. Be objective instead.

Manager: I had an outstanding reputation with my company as I had worked in a management position for 3 years. I was promoted to a higher management position… and more…

Robert: Dear Maligned Manager, You are seeking justice. That is understandable. It’s a community value most of us bring to work. And with your former colleagues, you are being rational about it. Documents. Witnesses. Evidence. In daily work life,…

http://officepolitics.com/advice/?p=220

Absolutely check out my new website. Here are some info articles and cards of interest on the employee-side of www.BullyingBosses.com:

***Incident Report Online Form (This is the key tool for being objective.)
About Robert
Anna’s First Turning Point (BBSG’s Chapter One — The Foundation for it all.)
Contending with Bullying Bosses
The Daisy Approach (My Therapist Says Confront)
Damage Management’s Human Resources
Expert Bully, Expert Advice (see above)
If Isolation Is The Problem, then…
Natural Born Trouble Maker But Smooth
Ten Self-Defense Tips for Bullied Employees
Violence Against Women
Work Is Not Family

And then, of course, here are some old favorites. I’m reposting them because they answer a lot of reoccurring questions. They are from early in this blog-business, when I had more time, so forgive them for being a bit overwrought. But “value is value.” And they’re also free!!! Buy BBSG. It has the whole program for you and it finances the rest for everyone.

Comment #1 (Analytical Tools): Ms. Cloudy is using the analytical tools described in “Bullying Bosses: A Survivor’s Guide.” E.g. maneuvering note cards representing elements into strategic formations. She wonders if she will ever be able to think strategically on her own?
Comment #2 (Physical Abuse): Ms. Anonymous is being physically abused by her work partner. What can she do?
Comment #3 (Courting & Bullying): David’s Bully courts him as if he was a “golden boy,” and then turns on him. His bully utilizes all three general types of bullying: isolating acts, official acts and twisting acts.
Comment #4 (Operative Effect): I report that Bullies lie and manipulate, maybe always. Caro asks what I mean when I suggest that an employee analytically discover the “operative effect” of a Bully’s spin in order to find the truth of the matter?
Comment #5 (Mental Health): Bullying has compromised Mr. Concerned’s mental heath.

That should keep you busy. I suggest that “you pick and choose” for yourself. I’ll post some even newer stuff shortly. Keep checking back. Now reborn, this is a good time to get your questions to me when you’re sure to get a response. Last time around, this blog got very, very busy!

Cheers,

Robert
Author of “Bullying Bosses: A Survivor’s Guide
Seasoned organizer and former union attorney

rare

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