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Advance. Retreat. Defend.

Filed under: General — site admin @ 12:31 pm

Self-empowerment is up to “the self.” No one else can accomplish this for you; the only way to get results is by taking responsibility. Besides, it feels a whole lot better this way. It really does. Don’t suffer needlessly.

Here are a couple of advice letters of mine that appear online in Toronto, at Franke James’ officepolitics.com.

An Expert Office Bully, Expert Advice:

This first one is my absolute favorite. The facts cover just about everything that might come up in a bullying drama. And it’s colorful to boot. Responding to this distressed young woman was altogether heartfelt. For me, it was her and my subtle humor that broke the tension. Humor need not be obvious, but it’s powerful. Here we go for “Ms. Cheer Leader:”

Target: …Given her affair with the senior manager, she acts like she is untouchable and pushes every button possible to get my goat. Most of my coworkers can’t believe she would turn on her “only” friend but personally I think I should have seen it coming… and more…

Robert: She is, right now, courting her special manager in the oldest of ways. You can be certain she is documenting every embarrassing detail. Geeeez! He can’t see it coming either…and more…


This second one is for a rather presumptuous manager. This guy was obviously so caught up in the “justice” of his cause, he took his complaints public. Probably not ever a good idea for a manager! Anytime you hear the word “justice” come up inside your brain, you’re in trouble-deep. Let it go. Be objective instead.

Manager: I had an outstanding reputation with my company as I had worked in a management position for 3 years. I was promoted to a higher management position… and more…

Robert: Dear Maligned Manager, You are seeking justice. That is understandable. It’s a community value most of us bring to work. And with your former colleagues, you are being rational about it. Documents. Witnesses. Evidence. In daily work life,…


And then, of course, here are some old favorites. I’m reposting them because they answer a lot of reoccurring questions.

Comment #1 (Analytical Tools): Ms. Cloudy is using the analytical tools described in “Bullying Bosses: A Survivor’s Guide.” E.g. maneuvering note cards representing elements into strategic formations. She wonders if she will ever be able to think strategically on her own?
Comment #2 (Physical Abuse): Ms. Anonymous is being physically abused by her work partner. What can she do?
Comment #3 (Courting & Bullying): David’s Bully courts him as if he was a “golden boy,” and then turns on him. His bully utilizes all three general types of bullying: isolating acts, official acts and twisting acts.
Comment #4 (Operative Effect): I report that Bullies lie and manipulate, maybe always. Caro asks what I mean when I suggest that an employee analytically discover the “operative effect” of a Bully’s spin in order to find the truth of the matter?
Comment #5 (Mental Health): Bullying has compromised Mr. Concerned’s mental heath.



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